And, lo and behold, he’s getting A’s in math. After his first term there, Billy brings home his report card. In desperation, he decides to register Billy at a catholic school. “It takes more mathematicians to get an ounce of brains.”Ī father is very much concerned about his young son Billy’s bad grades in math. And then there were mathematicians’ brains which were currently fetching $1000 per ounce. Doctors’ brains were going for $20 per ounce and lawyers’ brains were getting $30 per ounce. The secretary informed him that they had three kinds of brains available at that time. Teacher : Ralph, if your father had 10 dollars and you asked him for six dollars, how many dollars would your father have left?Ī man decided to go to the brain transplant clinic to refresh his supply of brains. Ralph : Dad, will you do my math for me tonight? “I try to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.” “My life is all arithmetic,” the young businesswoman explains. The moral to this story? Always keep your Poles off the right side of the plane. This causes a dynamic imbalance, and the plane violently rolls to the side and crashes into the canyon wall. The tour guide announces: “On the right of the airplane, you can see the famous Bright Angle Falls.” The tourists leap out of their seats and crowd to the windows on the right side. I’m just a simple Pole in a complex plane.”Ī group of Polish tourists is flying on a small airplane through the Grand Canyon on a sightseeing tour. The experimentalist calmly replied, “Have patience. The would be pilot’s friends cried out, “Please, please take off now! Hurry!!” He sat down at the controls and tried to figure them out. Finally, one of the scientists suggested that since he was an experimentalist, he would try to fly the aircraft. Terrified, they listened as the sirens got louder. They drove to the airport, forced their way on board a large passenger jet, and found there was no pilot on board. “For three reasons: (1) he took a long time to answer, (2) he was absolutely correct, and (3) his answer was absolutely useless.”Ī bunch of Polish scientists decided to flee their repressive government by hijacking an airliner and forcing the pilot to fly them to a western country. Puzzled, one of the other men asks, “Why do you say that?” One of the men says, “That must have been a mathematician.” We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far.” So he leans over the basket and yells out, “Helllloooooo! Where are we?” They hear the echo several times.ġ5 minutes later, they hear this echoing voice: “Helllloooooo! You’re in a balloon!!” One of the three men says, “I’ve got an idea. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. “‘Cause God said to go fourth and multiply!” Johnson finally gained her composure in the stunned silence. Tim’s hand shot up, surprising everyone in the room. “Who would like to do the last problem, multiplication?” The teacher called on Suzy, who got it right (she has been known to hold back sometimes in front of her friends). Now a low collective groan could be heard as everyone looked at nothing in particular. “Who would like to do the third problem, division?” She called on Mark, who got the problem but there was some suspicion his girlfriend Lisa whispered it to him. “Who would like to do the second problem, subtraction?” She called on Tommy, and with some help he finally got it right. “Who would like to do the first problem, addition?” Johnson the elementary school math teacher was having children do problems on the blackboard that day. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division
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